What is the Grief Process
Loss is a word that can be our constant companion throughout life. Loss is a natural response to the loss of any significant person, ideal or circumstance. Some examples might be a divorce, a tarnished reputation, a loss of a job or broken engagement. Maybe even a loss of a loved possession or bad grades. Grief can show itself by sorrow, depression, restlessness, disorganization, irritability, anger, and of course loneliness. There can be many stages of grief which can come and go but they usually run a consistent pattern.
1. Shock - Being anesthetized against the experience that you are facing.
2. Depression - Loneliness, feeling hopeless and a sense of isolation.
3. Physical symptoms - such as loss or gain of weight, and sleep issues.
4. Guilt - Feeling you could have done something different or blaming yourself or others.
5. Hostility/Anger - It may be at God, yourself or the person lost.
6. Panic - feeling alone and fearful of the future.
7. Overcoming Grief - It may take months or years depending upon what was lost.
8. Readjusting to reality - Acceptance of your situation and starting to move towards others rather than away.
How to Deal With Grief
It is a matter of beginning with the question “Why did this happen to me?” and moving on to “How can I deal with what is going on”, “How can I now go on with my life?” and “What can I learn through this?”
The next step is to start developing your own self. If it was a job that was lost, then finding other opportunities. If it was a person then you would need to develop other friends and community.
It is a time of discovering new ways of existing and functioning without whatever it was you lost. This sometimes involves a new identity.
Acceptance means you are no longer fighting your loss, but accepting it. It doesn’t mean you like it or that you would have chosen it, but you are learning to live with it as part of your life.
Recovery doesn’t mean you don’t mourn or that you forget the person or thing that was lost. Sometimes loss can take on a richer and deeper meaning because of the loss.
If you are experiencing difficult in recovering from a loss, we can help you at Christian Counseling of Arkansas. We are here to be your support while you are going through this difficult and possibly lonely time in your life.
