Gaining Control in Uncontrollable Situations
Raise your hand if you like to be in control…
I know I do! However, so often in life, we are faced with the fact that so many things happen that make us feel out of control – a death, a divorce, a medical diagnosis, a job loss, company shutting down, a global pandemic, a tornado that devastates your hometown and destroys homes and businesses. All these instances can bring feelings of fear, doubt, anger, etc. When this happens, sometimes it seems the easiest thing to do is throw up our hands and give up, quit, give in to that sense of helplessness. It can cause us to make decisions based on fear, rather than logic. So, how do we find a way to gain control over something which we have no control? We may not have control over what has happened, but we can control how we CHOOSE to cope and deal with our circumstances.
- You are not powerless. Come up with a plan. Plan your next move. Having a plan will help you gain empowerment over your circumstances. To formulate a plan, you can do these things…
- Look at the facts of your situation, not just how you feel about it. Our feelings lie to us and if we base decisions on feelings, such as “fear,” we may do something that isn’t beneficial. Identify the facts of your situation, not your feelings about it. Write these facts down so you can visually see what you’re dealing with. This will help you find FOCUS.
- Focus on what you can control. Having a focus on things you can control will reinforce that sense of empowerment you need to move forward, which in turn, helps you focus on the plan at hand.
- Find people who lift you up and are a good influence and support for you. God did not intend for “man” to be alone. As humans we long for connections with others. Surround yourself with people who are encouragers, positive people whom you can confide in, learn from, and lean on if needed. This can also be done by reading books or listening to podcasts, especially in this era of “social distancing.” Finding mentors through this avenue is also essential to keeping your focus on your plan and your goals.
- You are not alone. Joshua 1:9 states “Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” It feels lonely and scary when you have a new medical diagnosis, your spouse leaves you, you lose your job, but God is there for you. These things are not a surprise to God. He wants to carry us through the hard times. Lean on him.
If you need help coping with changes in your life, please contact us at Christian Counseling of Arkansas ad 870-935-4102
Rita Dickson, LPC